The Visible Woman...April 20, 2003

Easter

I am not religious. It's necessary to say that on Easter, I think. Otherwise, it's unspoken. I respect religions, especially that of my parents, it's a heritage. But, yeah, no.

The weather is iffy when I get up. Last night it was misting steadily enough to be called rain. This morning it's moist and cool but not really misting even. SuRu and I decide to dog walk the neighborhood on the other side of the creek.

SuRu's religious background is Jewish father, Baptist mother, not much influence from the family to pursue either. "What motivates people to put candy and stuff in plastic eggs for the kids to pretend a rabbit left because Jesus died?" she asks. Most of our holidays with religious and pagan origins play out in a silly way. "Did you make that up?" I say. Of course, she didn't make it up. (We'd just passed a house or two where the pursuit of plastic eggs seemed to be in progress. But she decide to put it that way.)

We look at 'take ones' for the houses for sale, keep doubling back when we reach 45th. We see a few new things since we walked over here, some remodels and such. One house that was piled with old appliances in the yard and had peeling paint and looked to be imploding before is being renovated. The old owner would have never turned over a new leaf, we decide. We saw him once. He's most likely dead or gone.

We get back to my house. I can't make the keypad on the garage door work and FFP is gone and the house is securely locked up. I call SuRu. She doesn't answer. I walk over there and she's talking to a poodle owned by a guy working across the street. This one-year-old boy could be Zoey's brother. But he is afraid of Zoey. SuRu gives me a key to my house from a ring in her car of other people's keys.

When I get back, FFP is back from the club. I go to the back door and let myself in (where the key works).

FFP comes down later and we eat. I finish some leftover tuna salad and eat a spinach salad with boiled egg, broccoli, mozzarella cheese and such. FFP showers and says he is going to visit his parents. He isn't religious either. We invited them to go along with us for a lamb dinner later today at my dad's friends' house. They have decided a few days ago that they won't feel like it today. They are really too shy. FFP should probably spend more time with them. I let him go without me, though, and decide to finish the WEB project for his client. I move files to his machine, do some more optimization and a few touch-ups and load it and test it.

Now my time is my own until we go for the meal.

I get on my machine. I note a growning mechanical sound and FFP comes home and we go look for it. One of the compressor's lines has a cake of ice on it. We turn the unit off to thaw it out. It's always something.

Seven months of reitrement. Yep, today marks that milestone. My dad always says that he's been retired almost 27 years and that I'm trying to break his record. Maybe.

In any case, I didn't do much of a recap at six months. I was having trouble just doing the journal just then. So, quit reading if this bores you but here comes the retirement report with the resolution report thrown in.

I'll start with the resolutions. I have clipped them below as written on the last day of 2002. My comments are just after the point.

Lose five pounds. I'm at about 168. According to my ill-kept records I was around 175 at the end of the year. So, yeah, I've lost weight. I seem to have plateaued (if that's a word) at this point, though. My diet is still awful but I am getting to the gym, walking, moving some weights around. I feel really good most of the time.
Drink more water. I don't think I drink enough but I try to drink a couple of bottles each evening. When I work out or play tennis, I sweat profusely so I really, really need the water.
Eat more healthy food. Fruit! Vegetables! Every day. I still need to do more fruit. I eat a fair amount of salad but, yeah, my diet is awful for the most part. Do better!
Write! Not just this journal. All the short stories I've outlined. All the essays. Start on the novels and non-fiction books. I keep thinking about writing but it just doesn't count. I seem to give this journal a priority. I'm not sure that's a good idea.
Find an appropriate volunteer activity. I've decided that hosting benefits and meetings is a good thing. I should probably take on something else, too. It needs to be flexible so I can travel.
Travel and, when I do, take the time to prepare by reading books. I need to plan a trip to San Francisco and one to Dallas and Archer City. (The latter to visit Booked Up, Larry McMurtry's big book store in that small town.) I want to go to Cape Town, too. I'll be going to Denver end of May. That's a family deal, though. I want to go to Maine this summer, too.
Pay more attention to investments and our budget. Save money. Well, um, it's hard to watch the stock market go down, isn't it? I have probably spent too much, too.
Continue my workouts and start playing tennis and maybe racquetball. I've played a little tennis. And I've continued to be faithful to the gym work except for always skating on the ab and back exercises that I hate.
Take Bridge lessons and learn more about Bridge.I talked to a lady who plays Bridge at the club. Does that count? I noticed all the Bridge books I have. I read a couple of Bridge columns in the papers.
Cook more. Start making crêpes again. I think about cooking, but I just don't do it. Dad's friend sure made that lamb taste delicious.
Get the closets, garage, drawers, shed, yard, storage room clean and keep them that way.Need to dedicate some time to this. How will I ever downsize if I don't get this done? I thought I'd be living in a neat, well-organized house by now. It's not that I've done nothing. I've organized the wine glasses, the pots and pans. I chopped bamboo although it's growing back. I got the guest room cleaned out, top to bottom.
Learn to make a movie.Hmmmm.....
Learn more about photography.I've shot quite a few digital pictures, but I doubt I've learned anything new.
Geez, this list is too long...make shorter lists.I just made a long 'to do' list. A lot of this stuff is on there. What good does that do?
Ride the bus and write about it.Soon it will be too hot for this one.
Get my mother's things sold or given away or packed and sent to my relatives.I found a home for a lot of weaving and spinning things. That's progress. More needs to be done, of course. But I've been through a lot of closets and drawers to get this far. We have things earmarked to go to Denver. This takes time. Fortunately, with Dad living there, we can be somewhat leisurely about it.
Read more books.I keep reading books. Newspapers and magazines pile up in teetering towers. It's hard to make a decision about what book to read next when I finish one.
Do some Windows programming and JavaScript and learn Linux.I look at my Linux box now and again and open a book. I have also read a bit on the Mac and the Quark program on it. Yeah, that wasn't a written resolution...learning the Mac and Quark. I have lots of computer goals. I won't to learn to use QuickBooks, too.
Hmmm...it's the same every year, isn't it? Why don't I make one list for all time (work harder, read, write, exercise, eat better, learn stuff, save money, lose weight, be a better person).I still believe in resolutions although I'm not very good at achieving the goals.

As to how it feels to be retired for seven months, well, the best part is that I don't feel I have to defend my company's actions or my role in it. I am more in control of what I have to defend. Of course, having the time off is wonderful, too. Some days I think 'oh, I have so many things to do' and then I realize that they will only take, say, three hours and the others are mine to use in the gym, at my computer, helping FFP, doing someone a favor, doing stuff around the house. I do some things for Forrest that could loosely be described as work, but I have yet to decide on any real 'second career.'

Picking what to do with my time is still hard. People ask if I get bored. Are you kidding? Not as long as I live in a house with piles of newspapers, a network of computers connected to the Internet, TVs with digital cable, a huge collection of DVDs and CDS, and three thousand books...I don't think so. Not as long as I have a social calendar that takes us out to fun, charitable or cultural events several times a week. How in the world could I be bored? I have to e-mail friends, read other people's online journals and on and one. Geez.

Being around the house does make me more aware and involved with the domestic life of keeping things neat, cooking, cleaning and the constant need to fix something.

I have a friend in South Africa who will undergo surgery and treatment for breast cancer soon. I decide to make her a card and do that. I send an e-mail off to a friend there to make sure I have the right snail mail address.

I get a shower. I pick some wine to take to our hosts and find some bendy Easter toys in case they have their grandkids around.

Easter Lamb. My dad's friend Maja is from Iceland. They raise a lot of sheep there and have a lot of lamb. And have it with these neat browned new potatoes and rhubard jelly. She has fixed a great meal. She has added English Peas and mixed vegies, homemade bread and a fruit compote. We enjoy it, the wine, the whole bit. They have some young neighbors over and we have fun talking to them, too.

When we get home, I rule out going to the club. It's seven. I'm full. My regimen doens't require anything today. At least I had a dog walk. I decide to change clothes and just laze around. Like that isn't what I do all the time.

We watch some TV. Six Feet Under just keeps getting weirder and weirder. (Yeah, I know.) And we watch Boomtown, too. That didn't grab me. I read the Sunday Times while FFP flips channels. I was happy with his flipping. A special on Bob Hope, some movies. When he stops and says "you can flip" I don't. I try to work the puzzle in the magazine. I was successful in one corner only.

What is news these days?

Tired of the really big news: Baghdad invasion turns to rebuilding, we hope? and mystery virus plagues people and economies?

So, the media worries a murder case in California. Or Elizabeth Smart's weird abduction. (The lawyer is negotiating the 'made for TV' movie rights but they 'just want to be left alone.')

I think we should restrict news from California to earthquakes and politics. So, yeah, Elizabeth is in Utah. That state, too.

Seriously, do we need to hear about murder cases everywhere over and over and over or solved kidnappings? To me it would only be news if the justice system was failing in some way. Otherwise, it's local news at best. But it does keep Jon Benet Ramsey off the radar.

Oh, you can say: just don't read or watch. I tried that with O.J. I picked up a copy of The New Yorker one day, confident I'd be safe there, and they had an article about O.J. I had a suggestion to save barrels of ink in America then: leave out adjectives. We all knew the Brono was white (endless replays of 'the chase' told us that if not the print media), we all knew there were two murders and that his wife Nicole and Ron Goldman were the victims.

So, yeah my suggestion was to shorten everything. Just 'the Brono,' just 'the murder.' Not the white brono. Not the 'double murder of his estranged wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, a waiter'. I avoided that story. And they still pounded the facts into my head. Would these geniuses please teach the younger generation to speak without saying 'like' and make change?

Dad and me at Wild Seed Farm on Friday

the Texas flag in flowers

"We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."
Jonathan Swift

JUST TYPING
religion
sets dates
for holidays
secularly honored
with seasonal merchandise
or events
or a day off
gotta be something

			Easter I am not religious. It's necessary to say that on Easter, I think. Otherwise, it's unspoken. I respect religions, especially that of my parents, it's a heritage. But, yeah, no. The weather is iffy when I get up. Last night it was misting steadily enough to be called rain. This morning it's moist and cool but not really misting even. SuRu and I decide to dog walk the neighborhood on the other side of the creek. SuRu's religious background is Jewish father, Baptist mother, not much influence from the family to pursue either. "What motivates people to put candy and stuff in plastic eggs for the kids to pretend a rabbit left because Jesus died?" she asks. Most of our holidays with religious and pagan origins play out in a silly way. "Did you make that up?" I say. Of course, she didn't make it up. (We'd just passed a house or two where the pursuit of plastic eggs seemed to be in progress. But she decide to put it that way.) We look at 'take ones' for the houses for sale, keep doubling back when we reach 45th. We see a few new things since we walked over here, some remodels and such. One house that was piled with old appliances in the yard and had peeling paint and looked to be imploding before is being renovated. The old owner would have never turned over a new leaf, we decide. We saw him once. He's most likely dead or gone. We get back to my house. I can't make the keypad on the garage door work and FFP is gone and the house is securely locked up. I call SuRu. She doesn't answer. I walk over there and she's talking to a poodle owned by a guy working across the street. This one-year-old boy could be Zoey's brother. But he is afraid of Zoey. SuRu gives me a key to my house from a ring in her car of other people's keys. When I get back, FFP is back from the club. I go to the back door and let myself in (where the key works). FFP comes down later and we eat. I finish some leftover tuna salad and eat a spinach salad with boiled egg, broccoli, mozzarella cheese and such. FFP showers and says he is going to visit his parents. He isn't religious either. We invited them to go along with us for a lamb dinner later today at my dad's friends' house. They have decided a few days ago that they won't feel like it today. They are really too shy. FFP should probably spend more time with them. I let him go without me, though, and decide to finish the WEB project for his client. I move files to his machine, do some more optimization and a few touch-ups and load it and test it. Now my time is my own until we go for the meal. I get on my machine. I note a growning mechanical sound and FFP comes home and we go look for it. One of the compressor's lines has a cake of ice on it. We turn the unit off to thaw it out. It's always something. Seven months of reitrement. Yep, today marks that milestone. My dad always says that he's been retired almost 27 years and that I'm trying to break his record. Maybe. In any case, I didn't do much of a recap at six months. I was having trouble just doing the journal just then. So, quit reading if this bores you but here comes the retirement report with the resolution report thrown in. I'll start with the resolutions. I have clipped them below as written on the last day of 2002. My comments are just after the point. Lose five pounds. I'm at about 168. According to my ill-kept records I was around 175 at the end of the year. So, yeah, I've lost weight. I seem to have plateaued (if that's a word) at this point, though. My diet is still awful but I am getting to the gym, walking, moving some weights around. I feel really good most of the time. Drink more water. I don't think I drink enough but I try to drink a couple of bottles each evening. When I work out or play tennis, I sweat profusely so I really, really need the water. Eat more healthy food. Fruit! Vegetables! Every day. I still need to do more fruit. I eat a fair amount of salad but, yeah, my diet is awful for the most part. Do better! Write! Not just this journal. All the short stories I've outlined. All the essays. Start on the novels and non-fiction books. I keep thinking about writing but it just doesn't count. I seem to give this journal a priority. I'm not sure that's a good idea. Find an appropriate volunteer activity. I've decided that hosting benefits and meetings is a good thing. I should probably take on something else, too. It needs to be flexible so I can travel. Travel and, when I do, take the time to prepare by reading books. I need to plan a trip to San Francisco and one to Dallas and Archer City. (The latter to visit Booked Up, Larry McMurtry's big book store in that small town.) I want to go to Cape Town, too. I'll be going to Denver end of May. That's a family deal, though. I want to go to Maine this summer, too. Pay more attention to investments and our budget. Save money. Well, um, it's hard to watch the stock market go down, isn't it? I have probably spent too much, too. Continue my workouts and start playing tennis and maybe racquetball. I've played a little tennis. And I've continued to be faithful to the gym work except for always skating on the ab and back exercises that I hate. Take Bridge lessons and learn more about Bridge.I talked to a lady who plays Bridge at the club. Does that count? I noticed all the Bridge books I have. I read a couple of Bridge columns in the papers. Cook more. Start making crêpes again. I think about cooking, but I just don't do it. Dad's friend sure made that lamb taste delicious. Get the closets, garage, drawers, shed, yard, storage room clean and keep them that way.Need to dedicate some time to this. How will I ever downsize if I don't get this done? I thought I'd be living in a neat, well-organized house by now. It's not that I've done nothing. I've organized the wine glasses, the pots and pans. I chopped bamboo although it's growing back. I got the guest room cleaned out, top to bottom. Learn to make a movie.Hmmmm..... Learn more about photography.I've shot quite a few digital pictures, but I doubt I've learned anything new. Geez, this list is too long...make shorter lists.I just made a long 'to do' list. A lot of this stuff is on there. What good does that do? Ride the bus and write about it.Soon it will be too hot for this one. Get my mother's things sold or given away or packed and sent to my relatives.I found a home for a lot of weaving and spinning things. That's progress. More needs to be done, of course. But I've been through a lot of closets and drawers to get this far. We have things earmarked to go to Denver. This takes time. Fortunately, with Dad living there, we can be somewhat leisurely about it. Read more books.I keep reading books. Newspapers and magazines pile up in teetering towers. It's hard to make a decision about what book to read next when I finish one. Do some Windows programming and JavaScript and learn Linux.I look at my Linux box now and again and open a book. I have also read a bit on the Mac and the Quark program on it. Yeah, that wasn't a written resolution...learning the Mac and Quark. I have lots of computer goals. I won't to learn to use QuickBooks, too. Hmmm...it's the same every year, isn't it? Why don't I make one list for all time (work harder, read, write, exercise, eat better, learn stuff, save money, lose weight, be a better person).I still believe in resolutions although I'm not very good at achieving the goals. As to how it feels to be retired for seven months, well, the best part is that I don't feel I have to defend my company's actions or my role in it. I am more in control of what I have to defend. Of course, having the time off is wonderful, too. Some days I think 'oh, I have so many things to do' and then I realize that they will only take, say, three hours and the others are mine to use in the gym, at my computer, helping FFP, doing someone a favor, doing stuff around the house. I do some things for Forrest that could loosely be described as work, but I have yet to decide on any real 'second career.' Picking what to do with my time is still hard. People ask if I get bored. Are you kidding? Not as long as I live in a house with piles of newspapers, a network of computers connected to the Internet, TVs with digital cable, a huge collection of DVDs and CDS, and three thousand books...I don't think so. Not as long as I have a social calendar that takes us out to fun, charitable or cultural events several times a week. How in the world could I be bored? I have to e-mail friends, read other people's online journals and on and one. Geez. Being around the house does make me more aware and involved with the domestic life of keeping things neat, cooking, cleaning and the constant need to fix something. I have a friend in South Africa who will undergo surgery and treatment for breast cancer soon. I decide to make her a card and do that. I send an e-mail off to a friend there to make sure I have the right snail mail address. I get a shower. I pick some wine to take to our hosts and find some bendy Easter toys in case they have their grandkids around. Easter Lamb. My dad's friend Maja is from Iceland. They raise a lot of sheep there and have a lot of lamb. And have it with these neat browned new potatoes and rhubard jelly. She has fixed a great meal. She has added English Peas and mixed vegies, homemade bread and a fruit compote. We enjoy it, the wine, the whole bit. They have some young neighbors over and we have fun talking to them, too. When we get home, I rule out going to the club. It's seven. I'm full. My regimen doens't require anything today. At least I had a dog walk. I decide to change clothes and just laze around. Like that isn't what I do all the time. We watch some TV. Six Feet Under just keeps getting weirder and weirder. (Yeah, I know.) And we watch Boomtown, too. That didn't grab me. I read the Sunday Times while FFP flips channels. I was happy with his flipping. A special on Bob Hope, some movies. When he stops and says "you can flip" I don't. I try to work the puzzle in the magazine. I was successful in one corner only. What is news these days? Tired of the really big news: Baghdad invasion turns to rebuilding, we hope? and mystery virus plagues people and economies? So, the media worries a murder case in California. Or Elizabeth Smart's weird abduction. (The lawyer is negotiating the 'made for TV' movie rights but they 'just want to be left alone.') I think we should restrict news from California to earthquakes and politics. So, yeah, Elizabeth is in Utah. That state, too. Seriously, do we need to hear about murder cases everywhere over and over and over or solved kidnappings? To me it would only be news if the justice system was failing in some way. Otherwise, it's local news at best. But it does keep Jon Benet Ramsey off the radar. Oh, you can say: just don't read or watch. I tried that with O.J. I picked up a copy of The New Yorker one day, confident I'd be safe there, and they had an article about O.J. I had a suggestion to save barrels of ink in America then: leave out adjectives. We all knew the Brono was white (endless replays of 'the chase' told us that if not the print media), we all knew there were two murders and that his wife Nicole and Ron Goldman were the victims. So, yeah my suggestion was to shorten everything. Just 'the Brono,' just 'the murder.' Not the white brono. Not the 'double murder of his estranged wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, a waiter'. I avoided that story. And they still pounded the facts into my head. Would these geniuses please teach the younger generation to speak without saying 'like' and make change?

	Dad and me at Wild Seed Farm on Friday the Texas flag in flowers "We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another." Jonathan Swift
	JUST TYPING religion sets dates for holidays secularly honored with seasonal merchandise or events or a day off gotta be something

Sunday, April 20, 2003