The Visible Woman...August 12, 2003

There are no piles of newspapers. There are piles of photo boxes and albums and boxes of other stuff I've forgotten. But, hey, it's getting better.

Organizing and tossing, reading today's newspapers today. It's all quite nice.

I got in a suitable workout, too. And a lunch with friends and dinner with friends and family. What more could a person want?

But.

I had this anxiety all day. Over what, I can't say. It didn't add up to anything. It just lingered. Every little thing seemed to cause this tension.

I read part of an article on famine in an old The New York Times Magazine. (People were chasing termites flying by to nibble on them.) And an article (in today's Science Times) about pellagra (a disease caused by a niacin deficiency). There aren't so many real troubles in my life. I know other people who have real troubles right now...death in the family, illness. Around the world people hope for a meal and that stray bullets don't kill them. Normally this calms me when I am anxious for no reason. Today it doesn't.

It might be the birthday and, then again, it might be the surge of different chemicals in the brain. In any case, this little anxiety pulses underneath everything all day long.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

just putzing around making illustrations	I can see the floor There are no piles of newspapers. There are piles of photo boxes and albums and boxes of other stuff I've forgotten. But, hey, it's getting better. Organizing and tossing, reading today's newspapers today. It's all quite nice. I got in a suitable workout, too. And a lunch with friends and dinner with friends and family. What more could a person want? But. I had this anxiety all day. Over what, I can't say. It didn't add up to anything. It just lingered. Every little thing seemed to cause this tension. I read part of an article on famine in an old The New York Times Magazine. (People were chasing termites flying by to nibble on them.) And an article (in today's Science Times) about pellagra (a disease caused by a niacin deficiency). There aren't so many real troubles in my life. I know other people who have real troubles right now...death in the family, illness. Around the world people hope for a meal and that stray bullets don't kill them. Normally this calms me when I am anxious for no reason. Today it doesn't. It might be the birthday and, then again, it might be the surge of different chemicals in the brain. In any case, this little anxiety pulses underneath everything all day long.
JUST TYPING What's this stuff? How did it get here? When did stuff Become such a burden? Does this work? How can I get rid of it? Should I feel sentimental?
		Food Diary. a couple of homemade crackers and part of a Dr. Pepper a salad with grilled trout, goat cheese and walnuts and a small piece of cornbread with butter [lunch at Z'Tejas] some green onions, potato chips and two slices of provolone cheese [below...Dinner at Zoot] chiled cucumber soup some red wine roll and butter duck confit with grits a small bit of cheese and a couple of apple slices (nibbled off FFP's chese plate)
		Time flies.... I had to get to the club in a timely fashion because I had a lunch date. In fact, I got back in time to clean out the outside fridge (where a diet coke or three had frozen and exploded) and to shower and then be at the restaurant earlier than all the people who work for a living. The time between my lunch date and dinner date loomed temptingly. I have (more or less) conquered the papers. I could move on to other activities to get the office in top shape. Or I could just give myself a break and just read. For that matter, I could write. No, no, the office is not straight enough and my mind is too muddled. I did read a bit...sitting in a chair in the guest room, sitting in the living room, in my office. Dad showed up hours early for the dinner. Spent time helping him pick a book to read and talking to him.

		Reading. From the Journals of M.F.K. Fisher got read on the bike. Some old The New York Times Magazine articles and the Arts sections from some newspapers.
		Instead...I read.
		Exercise twenty minutes on recumbent bike chest, back and shoulder exercises twenty-five minutes on recombent bike
		Emotionally anxious but physically fine. I hardly have a twinge of anything anywhere anymore. I couldn't be healthier, I don't think unless I lost another ten pounds and put on a little more muscle. I never seem to feel sick. 114/62 84