The Visible Woman...September 8, 2003

My doctor (who retired, by the way, creating a need on my part to change doctors now that it's time for a checkup again) said that people who deny they need medical treatment are medical nihilists. I keep thinking my back will get better. Of course, I have lots of reasons to hold to my medical nihilist ways: I've been proven right so many times when I did get better. And I've gone to the doctor with ailments before that actually never got cured by them.

When I first got up the back pain was gone. Then I seemed to tense up and it hurt again. When I was in the pool for water aerobics, it felt OK. It hurt when I got out. I put a bit of heat on it at home. It seemed better. I decided to shower up and go about my day.

I considered Advil but I was afraid it would work and then I wouldn't know if it was getting better.

Heat really seems to help as does just gently stretching it. I haven't tried the massage chair.

I wouldn't think much about it but I need for it to go away before I have to drive long distances. Or I guess I can just go for the Advil then.

Monday, September 8, 2003

A Journal from Austin, Texas. A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.
food	reading	writing	time	exercise	health and mood

I am six or seven. I look happy and in control, don't I?	nihilism My doctor (who retired, by the way, creating a need on my part to change doctors now that it's time for a checkup again) said that people who deny they need medical treatment are medical nihilists. I keep thinking my back will get better. Of course, I have lots of reasons to hold to my medical nihilist ways: I've been proven right so many times when I did get better. And I've gone to the doctor with ailments before that actually never got cured by them. When I first got up the back pain was gone. Then I seemed to tense up and it hurt again. When I was in the pool for water aerobics, it felt OK. It hurt when I got out. I put a bit of heat on it at home. It seemed better. I decided to shower up and go about my day. I considered Advil but I was afraid it would work and then I wouldn't know if it was getting better. Heat really seems to help as does just gently stretching it. I haven't tried the massage chair. I wouldn't think much about it but I need for it to go away before I have to drive long distances. Or I guess I can just go for the Advil then.
JUST TYPING A pain becomes a focus. If you can dismiss it in a certain position or with a pallative like heat, you do that. Then you reach. And ouch. Pain is life, though. You feel something.
		Food Diary. *About 10:30pm* couple of table spoons of White Mountain original tofu salad ripe banana boiled egg 1/2 ounce cheese *About 4pm* two Carr's ginger sandwich cookies (140 calories)...these are the best cookies...reminder to self not to keep them around *About 6:30-10:30pm* red wine, cheese, crackers, caviar, chopped egg, onion, lemon juice, smoked oysters, toasts, some of those bad cookies...yikes! gotta watch that party food...how I love it, especially when I pick it out
		Time flies.... I didn't work out after water aerobics but I did sit in my chair and read a little with the heating thing on my back. I spent time at Dad's, packing two miniature displays under domes and going through some stuff in a closet, throwing some of it away. I organized a packing list for my upcoming trip to Denver with my dad. I scanned in the picture of me displayed today. I stopped at Grapevine Market and bought some caviar-like substance, cheeses and crackers and I chopped caviar condiments and set out cheese and crackers and opened up smoked oysters and made a snack display for a board meeting and then cleaned up from it. I was cadging moments to get heat on my back all day and it seems to be improving.

		Reading. Still reading a collection of The New Yorker Profiles. Read some sections of the newspaper and worked a couple of crosswords.
		I have been thinking about my documentary movie a lot and even doing a little research. Also, I've been making up dialog and scenarios in my head for the novel. It's not exactly writing, though, is it?
		Exercise One hour water aerobics.
		I am still fighting this nagging lower back ache. 110/66 71