AUSTIN, Texas, November 7, 2005 — I had promised to play tennis with a league team today. It is an important match for them, too. I met my partner and rode out to Lost Creek with her.

I was a little fuzzy when I got up. I didn't think I had that much wine.

I had a bit of coffee and went to the club. My partner came and another person to follow us and we went there. They are in a tizzy because they had to get another sub at the last minute.

We finally taook the courts at Lost Creek. We are playing fourth line. I have played with one

of the ladies before. They were nice and they won the first set 6-4. We found a few shots and won the second set and got up 4-0 in the third before dropping four straight games. Then we won the next two. It is too hot to be November.

After the match the Lost Creek folks offer snacks and Mimosas but I just ate a couple of almonds and my ride was ready to go. "I don't drink before five," I said. It isn't exactly true. But it didn't seem like champagne on an empty stomach after sweating in the uncharacteristically warm November sun was a good idea.

I got home and I was sort of tired. I e-mailed a couple of people and called my dad and called my aunt who has just made the Maine to Texas move. She was gone to the beauty shop but I exchanged all the news with my uncle.

I really needed to work on the family budget to see if we are living within our means. So I spent a good part of the afternoon sorting receipts and scraps of paper, going through credit card bills and checkbook entries and entering the information in a spreadsheet form I have. I hadn't touched this task (unless you count trying to keep up with the spending by saving those scraps and receipts) since mid-September. After much work I catch it up to October 31. The verdict: we didn't do too badly considering we traveled and bought season or advance tickets to things and gave a way a fair amount of money. It gives me a feeling of control to organize this information but I suspect it's a false feeling, though, since I'm not sure the activity actually controls our behavior. But maybe it does.

FFP heated up some barbecued pork we bought at Costco and I ate some of it with three pieces of bread. I'd had some leftover chicken rice and some cheese and chips and V8 for a sort of late lunch. Before that coffee and almonds. I'm not keeping a food diary. But I am trying to figure out if certain foods are occasionally upsetting my digestion. I don't think it's cheese, coffee or alcohol (shut up) or I'd be sick all the time.

I stay up too late. I read a bunch of papers and we 'watch' Monday night football. I watch a few plays over the top of my newspapers. FFP dozes and read a book. We watch a CSI: Miami. They are touting this two hour episode between the Miami show and New York. Ho hum. I guess I'm getting tired of crime shows. Should have watched a movie.

Today felt tentative. You know...that helpless feeling that you aren't really in control of things. I found out an acquaintance from my former job had died of a massive stroke at 75. He coded up to the end. I found out my cousin's wife's father died. I found a friend's mom was hospitalized. I worried about my aunt and uncle and the year they've had and worried about a package with important stuff that they said got lost in spite of being sent registered mail. I heard about struggling non-profits. We don't control death or illness or the mails or have the money to support all the causes. We are really helpless.

Sleep comes.