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Thursday September 21, 2000
"To find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him -- two." Norman Douglas, An Almanac
why is this here? because someone sold it once on ebay, of course and because I like the way it looks and because I used it as an icon on my main page where I'm not sure it looks good |
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a unreal quality My life still seems to have taken on an unreal quality. I'm looking at it through the wrong end of some binoculars. I'm able to see behind me and ahead of me. But it's hard to be present. And yet I'm no place else. I'm not ruing the past or worrying about the future. I'm not as disturbed about this as I should be, either. It feels natuaral. I have a few odd meetings. I have a colleague into my office for a brief overview of some work we will do together. He notices a postcard of Kirstenbosch Garden on Table Mountain near Cape Town on my bulletin board. It's hard to take particular notice of anything in my office, strewn as it is with memorabilia and toys and books and papers. "I grew up there," he says. I'd taken him for a Brit for some reason. But no. American mother, South African (English-speaking) father. We talk a while about where I've been, what I think about it, where his mother still lives. One of my work buddies is leaving. We've been on pretty separate projects for quite a while. But my experience at the company would be very different were it not for him. Very different. I invited him to have a few friends over to my house for a farewell. He only invites a few and he brings two great bottles of 1997 Duckhorn Merlot. Forrest has ordered some cheeses, some meats and has rolls and crackers and spreads arranged on the table with a large arrangement of gladiolas. My outside work life would be very different without Forrest. Far fewer monumental flower arrangements. No house with a lovely garden. And a fair amount of emptiness. The party breaks up early. I wash up the plates and wine glasses and platters and try to fight off the last vestiges of my cold in preparation for a drive to Houston. |
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