The Visible Woman...February 9, 2004

It is an agressive day. I will tell the subs what I'm expecting and hand the contractor a list of things to handle. I will let go of the unimportant. I will take charge of my mess.

My punch list is a full page and has lots of unhappy faces. I tell the tile guys (the big bosses who have never seen this job they sent their inexperienced crew out on) what I don't like. They say that a dark grout 'emphasizes any mistake.' Excuse me? What did they want to do...use one color of tile and one color grout, all the same. Because that's the only way to 'hide' screwups. Why didn't they say, "We plan to have a lot of screw-ups so all one color would be better." They act like they will make me happy but I don't think they will. What I think they will do is take more time and make a bigger mess. Now I'm worried they will mess up the hardwood that is starting the sand, stain, varnish cycle today. Still, I have made my dissatisfaction known. That's all I can do. Thouroughly tell them what I don't like.

I try to get agressive with myself, too. I take the machine that doesn't work out of my way. I switch its speakers and subwoofer to the machine I mainly use. I try to bring up my old LINUX machine using the KVM that I had there. It gives off this warning beep. Hmmm...I had it open and scavenged a NIC board out of it. Must have screwed something up. I pile it on top of the other machine just taken out of service. I consider whether I will try to fix these machines myself, get someone else to do it. The result is that they are now piled in the middle of the room and are added to the obstacle course. Sigh.

I talk to my broker and get some bases for my income taxes. I almost have the stuff ready for the CPA. I'll turn it over as soon as I have a few more K1's. One comes at the last possible moment and this one we will just have her add at the last minute.

Toward the end of the evening, I'm feeling less 'take charge.' I'm feeling adrift. The young woman who conducts the meeting we are in this evening is so in control. I admire her. She arranges the food she has gotten for us and expertly guides our discussion. She makes you feel confident in our project.

	take charge There are times when you just have to take charge. Of yourself and others. It is an agressive day. I will tell the subs what I'm expecting and hand the contractor a list of things to handle. I will let go of the unimportant. I will take charge of my mess. My punch list is a full page and has lots of unhappy faces. I tell the tile guys (the big bosses who have never seen this job they sent their inexperienced crew out on) what I don't like. They say that a dark grout 'emphasizes any mistake.' Excuse me? What did they want to do...use one color of tile and one color grout, all the same. Because that's the only way to 'hide' screwups. Why didn't they say, "We plan to have a lot of screw-ups so all one color would be better." They act like they will make me happy but I don't think they will. What I think they will do is take more time and make a bigger mess. Now I'm worried they will mess up the hardwood that is starting the sand, stain, varnish cycle today. Still, I have made my dissatisfaction known. That's all I can do. Thouroughly tell them what I don't like. I try to get agressive with myself, too. I take the machine that doesn't work out of my way. I switch its speakers and subwoofer to the machine I mainly use. I try to bring up my old LINUX machine using the KVM that I had there. It gives off this warning beep. Hmmm...I had it open and scavenged a NIC board out of it. Must have screwed something up. I pile it on top of the other machine just taken out of service. I consider whether I will try to fix these machines myself, get someone else to do it. The result is that they are now piled in the middle of the room and are added to the obstacle course. Sigh. I talk to my broker and get some bases for my income taxes. I almost have the stuff ready for the CPA. I'll turn it over as soon as I have a few more K1's. One comes at the last possible moment and this one we will just have her add at the last minute. Toward the end of the evening, I'm feeling less 'take charge.' I'm feeling adrift. The young woman who conducts the meeting we are in this evening is so in control. I admire her. She arranges the food she has gotten for us and expertly guides our discussion. She makes you feel confident in our project.
a sack full of worthless laptop stuff...once worth thousands of dollars
JUST TYPING Just do it. Don't think so much. Don't make a list of things to do. Just do it.
		Food Diary. *breakfast* nothing *lunch* nothing *snacks* one cracker and several kinds of cheese a Clementine, maybe two a bunch (and I mean a bunch) of bad surgery candy a few carrots dinner [La Madeleine takeout] tomato basil soup spinach salad half a chicken and half a spinach pie thingy a giant cookie couple glasses red wine Today I - couldn't eat properly due to the sounds and smell of contracting until we went out to a friend's house and that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
		Time flies.... I am up at 7:30. I drink coffee, read the local paper, talk to a sub on the phone, talk to FFP about the punch list. The contractor says he's coming over. I decide to wait for him. Supposedly the tile sub boss is going to call or visit or something. The wood floor guys show up. Eventually the contractor and then the tile guys. It's afternoon before I get to the gym. When I come back from the gym, the first coat of varnish is on and the place smells. SuRu drops by to use the computer and then I get dressed and FFP and I go to a meeting. It's around nine when we return. I decide reading and watching videos is a good idea. I watch Paris was a Woman which we had rented, only I fall asleep here and there. I read my newspapers a bit.

		Reading. Newspapers. The Conquerers by Michael Beschloss. Omaha Beach; A Flawed Victory by Adrian R. Lewis. Still reading this one on the bike. It's still a little dull.
		I started on a custom kid's book for my great nephew. Yeah, I know. Children's books.
		Exercise forty-six minutes on recumbent bike some lower back and ab exercises twenty minutes on treadmill
	. .	Sometimes if you just attack some of your demons, you feel better.
	It's a Tangled Web we weave...these days of our lives.	One year ago "In the end, even though it's delightful outside, I stay inside. I'm retired. I can get outside tomorrow or the next day or the next. Nice weather on the weekends used to make me anxious. (Must get outside.) Nice weather when I was working made me mad." Two years ago "The Dinosaur Within. A complex play with two intermissions. With footprints in Hollywood of faded stars and in in the outback tracks of dinosaurs."