The Visible Woman...April 5, 2004

Monday, April 5, 2004

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A Journal from Austin, Texas.
A Project of LBFFP Stealth Publishing.

health and mood

a change

The format is weighing me down, I think. I must find a new format.

When I changed to this format, with all the little blurbs below and with this top part allegedly devoted to an essay, I thought I would get all the mundane out of the way into the food diary, the mood index, the links, the free form typing area, the linear journal ('time flies'), the reading and writing sections. Then, right here where you are reading now you would see a small but coherent essay.

But, how often has that happened?

What really seems to happen is that the sections weigh me down. I start writing and I am thinking "how many slices of cheese did I eat?" or "when did I get up?" and, of course, "what the heck did I do with my time?"

I get ready to push the entry to the WEB and I realize I don't have the picture area updated or I haven't updated what I'm reading. What was I reading? Maybe I cop out and reuse an old picture. Why even have a picture?

I have even added a section. Thinking about things. Adding sections is not helpful. It is one more thing to finish up, like linking the pages together and indexing (why is it necessary to index topics and dates?, why is it necessary to put links at the top and the bottom? why don't I learn some CSS or frames or template techniques that make it easier?).

So. A change is in the offing. Maybe a small one at first. I'm thinking of dropping the section where I am supposed to write about how I feel physically and mentally. I never seem to say anything worthy or preservation here. And I'm also tempted to have my mood be 'OK' all the time. Or 'So-So.' Boring.

the unfinished Intel building sports banners for the Arts Festival last weekend

JUST TYPING

Formats.
Make a difference.
But what format will work?
Will it make me a writer?
Will it capture the today me for tomorrow.

Food Diary.

breakfast

nutrition bar (190 calories)

lunch

four slices turkey bacon
two bowls salad with zuchinni, onion, cheese, dressing, tomatoes

snacks

some M&M's, some Laughing Cow (2 3/4 ounce wedges), two slices American cheese, crackers (about eight), black olive tapinade, mustard
a Manhattan

dinner

salmon, canned spinach

Today I
- felt like I was eating and eating constantly but sometimes I was only drinking water or black coffee.

Time flies....

I got up and got to the club. I had my time mixed up and thought water aerobics started at 8:15. It starts at 8:30 on Wednesday. So I was a little early. My dad was already there, helping uncover the deep end and getting out floats and styro barbells. After class I took a shower, bought a nutrition bar and a cup of coffee and read for a few minutes before going up to a tennis workout. I'm going to sub for the team on Wednesday and they were working out today. The workout was fun. I learned some things about playing doubles and I hit one or two good shots. (And tons of bad ones.) It isn't paralyzingly hot yet and so it was nice.

I thought about working out some more but I didn't. I went home, stuffed my face and settled in to read a little of the newspapers and watch a couple of DVDs of screenplays I've read. I rewatched pieces of Heavenly Creatures and watched Quiz Show. I had watched random pieces of the latter on cable but never paid close attention to it. I still didn't watch with perfect attention every scene of either movie. I have to be in a dark theater or else my attention wanders to reading something or I drift out of the room without pausing.

I keep thinking I will do something useful. Organize my office, finish reorganizing stuff I packed from the move, something like that. But I don't.

It's dinner time. FFP sautees some salmon with lemon and capers and heats some canned spinach. FFP ends up deciding to plant some stuff we have for the new landscaped area. He asks for help so I go out in my tennis clothes and old hiking boots to help him.

We start watching the NCAA basketball championship but I really read the paper, paying scant attention. FFP reads and dozes. I end up in bed reading a 2002 National Geographic with D-Day stories.

Reading.

Newspapers. My dad's cousin, who was quoted in the newspaper (in the last couple of days) in an article about Austin's trailer parks, said that he was writing about his life and had landed on a glider at Normandy. Hmm...must talk to him. I didn't know that although I've met the guy.

Some interviews that went with the screenplay for Breaking Away.

Old Natl. Geo about D-Day.

nothing

Thinking about Things.

DVD players.
One standalone. One VCR combo.
VCRs.
A dead one.
Three others.

(3558)

Exercise

recumbent bike
treadmill
ergonomic rower
water aerobics	1 hr
chest, shoulder, triceps
leg, back, bicep
lower back
ab exercises
stretches
walking
tennis	2 hr workout

Should have done something 'real.' Because water aerobics and tennis aren't real exercise.

Mood was fine although I felt a little bad about my wasted afternoon.

It's a Tangled
Web we weave...these
days of our lives.

One year ago
"I decide that if I just had a framework for this journal, in essence blank pages to glue things down on, all nicely linked and labelled, with some catch phrases from the written journals I have strewn about written in, if, if I had that I could easily catch up? Right? And...what would it mean to catch up? To be a daily journal done retrospectively, then caught up and in real time again?"

Two years ago
"I can't seem to shake a mild depression. It is mild, though, the kind you can revel in. Not the kind where you go to bed and don't get up."

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